The Interrupter: Followup

Last week I resolved to stop interrupting. To interrupt my interruptions, so to speak. (Sorry I couldn’t help myself)

So how did it go?

Better than expected. I am actually learning. I still slip back into old habits, but not so often. I am improving and I call that a win.

Yes, I have a few times forgotten what I was going to say because I decided to listen instead. But the world did not end. My brilliant thoughts evaporated and yet no one suffered dire consequences from the loss of my wisdom. Huh. Go figure.

Difficult lesson

I learned something disturbing. I learned that interrupting is an easy way to avoid the difficult conversations. It is a good defense mechanism.

To actually listen means to be fully engaged. That puts you at the mercy of what the other person wants to share. Perhaps the benefit of interrupting is that we can ignore the truth of the relationship.

Obviously, you don’t have to care or respond or do anything merely because someone shared a particularly emotional bit of information. Except if I am listening to someone, it’s because they matter to me.

Hearing what they were saying-- and not saying-- was sometimes difficult. I heard the fear or pain that the words were masking. I would have missed that if I had been preparing my response.

Benefits

I got more out of conversations. I understood more. I couldn’t stay on the surface because I noticed too much. Some relationships deepened and I feel closer to my friends.

On the other side, there were times when I heard the falseness of the words. The intent to deceive. This was valuable information. Painful, but valuable.

This practice has made me even more mindful (hooray!) of who I am choosing to engage with. It has also reinforced the importance of really listening.

Sandy of course is always here to listen to me. Unless it’s time to walk. . .

Happy Tail Wags,Suzanne inspiration-and-entertainment-blog.html

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